When did you first learn to apologize and mean it sincerely? I’m sure, for me, it wasn’t that first time it was mandated that I tell my brother that I was sorry for some mistreatment of him. It takes a while for “sorry” to move from outside compulsion to internal imperative. It takes even longer to realize there are times when an apology is in order even when we do not feel totally in the wrong. We have made at least a small gain in maturity when we realize that continued good relationship matters more than being right. We have a somewhat natural tendency to defend ourselves when we feel we are in the right or even when we feel not fully understood. Stepping outside ourselves to try to see from another’s perspective can do wonders for our ability to relate. This is not the same as failing to stand up for oneself against a bully, but trying to live at peace as much as we are able. It is a hard thing to not return evil for evil or insult for insult. It is even harder to own up to when we have been the thoughtless aggressor. The philosophy of “If you punch me, I will punch you harder,“ may certainly result in bloody noses. Remember, Jesus said, “If someone strikes you on one cheek, then turn and offer the other.” Violence in response to violence, whether physical or verbal, often leads to more violence. “Blessed are the peace makers; they will be called the children of God.”